WEEKEND BEARS N CUBS...

I have been planning some plans today - and sort of firming up (!?!) in my head the format for these posts... Apologies if there any any typos - I was bearing it - sorry beering it with my mate Boris last night and only remembered to eat pies for tea really late on. So I have a bit of a head this morning... Where's the Ovaltine...

Anyway, I think the site is going to work best as follows....

MONDAY: REVIEW...

Review of any major weekend Bearcub stuff - what the gang have been up to - if they *have* been up to anything! Also some teasers for the rest of the weeks 3 themed posts.

TUESDAY: THEME 1
WEDNESDAY: THEME 2
THURSDAY: THEME 3

FRIDAY: REVIEW...

Review of plans for the weekend and a list of the topics for the following week...

So... I hope you've enjoyed the two themes we've delivered this week...

Next weeks themes are going to be...

TUESDAY: CAN TWINKY FURBALLS BE BEARS TOO?

WEDNESDAY: WHAT TO DO WITH GROWLY BEARS WHO DON'T LIKE HUGGLES - WHEN EVEN PIES WON'T WORK!!!

THURSDAY: BEARCUBS WHO WANNA BE KYLIE...

So - we'll be back on Monday with the joys of our weekend - but firstly - what are the bears from this weeks posts hoping to get up to this weekend?


Redbeard...

Has a busy one planned with his husbear...

"I'm just finalising my weekend - but I am presuming it will involve cocktails with the girls at the met bar, folllowed by a turn in the sling at the hoist and maybe a foreign film at some point!"

So - just a typical weekend for Redbeard then...


Britpop Cub...

Is working over the weekend but is thinking positively. He works in a lovely shop that sells things that bears and other fellas might like...

"I am planning on being chic and beary as ever - whilst serving bears with dirty sex toys and trying not to flirt with them too much. Especially since I'll know what they're into!"

Well said BP! ;-)


Jimmy Bear...

Has his own plans for world fur domination...

"I'll be off to the Kings Arms on saturday for an evening of fur comparison. :) Then off for cock and cocktails at some den of iniquity, if anyone will take me. :)"

Hmmm... COCKtails!!!! Good luck Jimmy! :-)


Whilst I myself am going around to Chad Chub's house for a mystery belated birthday party... That and lots of texting to a certain Cub friend of mine in Glasgow...

SEE YOU ALL, MONDAY!
- posted by Paul Chandler @ 3:19 AM

 
STRAIGHT BEARS : WHY DO THEY TEMPT US SO???

Can I share a quote with you? It's from a straight bearish friend of mine called Del, so it's quite topical. I described this site as being like Sex and the City for furry blokes and he responded back thus:

"Yes. You're like Sarah Jessica-Parker, only hairier and in much bigger Manolo Blahniks."

Isn't that swell! So true as well! Though I'm not married to Matthew Broderick, alas.

Anyway, today - as you may have already guessed - we are talking straight bears...

Some of you might not quite understand what I mean so I'll define them firstly shall I?

It's simple really - Straight Bears are straight guys who - well - have the bear look... They're not gay - and (mostly) they're off limits... But there are some few exceptions, as we'll see...

Other than my flatmate, Georgy who used to be a straight bear (before he lost weight as well as his goatee!) I would probably say I met my first proper straight bear in POPSTARZ in 1999... That was a funny one - it had never occurred to me before...

There I was - on the indie music dancefloor - having a bit of a jig about, flirting with and being flirted at by this total rugby build hunk... Dancing away to Blur and The Smiths and to Pulp - hoping that we'd eventually get to snuggle up and kiss. I'm eyeing him up - I can see his chest fur sticking up all tempting from the top of his t-shirt - he's got furry arms (OH MY GOD!!) and a dead sexy goateed smile. So... I'm planning out our new life together here - the flat we'll share - carpets - wall paper - the names of our cats (or dogs - I'm good for taking on either!)

...And then...

His girlfriend shows up and smiles and the two of them wave (not at all vindictively as it happens) and head off for the bar. It is then it suddenly occurs to me that it's become a pretty mixed club and that he wasn't really flirting at all - or maybe he was - but ultimately he was going home with his lady...

Oh man! :-(

Straight bears are the one thing that most seems to frustrate true bears and when I met with some of my friend the other day at the National Bear Beauty Contest in Downtown Kensington they all seemed to want to have their say on the subject...

"There are no straight bears here I hope..." sighed Britpop Cub sniffily, "I can't be doing with them - they're all such prick-teasers... Especially the ones who know what they're doing - the ones who know they turn you on..."

Silence fell upon our group, BP Cub, Jimmy Bear, Redbeard and I... We'd won the tickets to the Bear Beauty Contest, having struck up a pretty darn good rendition of "Venus", followed by "Roam" by the B52s and "Crazy In Love" at the Retro Bar karaoke night... We were like the Three Degrees Plus One - the Bear version of The Nolans! AND WE'D WON!!! ;-)

So there we were - all in our best floral shirts and bobble hats - decked out in furry boas and trying to look as Sex In The City as possible. There on the stage - man after man of gorgeous furriness... It was a good night and we were knocking back the free booze in bottles, between us. The current honey on the stage - purring his way down the catwalk was a 6ft 4 chunky furball I'd never seen before - wearing only a thong and a sports vest. His legs were extremely muscly and his dark hair coifferred into a cute quiff... We were transfixed... Well I was... Redbeard just sat grinning smugly - Jimmy Bear was trying to take a photo on his mobile - however BP Cub seemed less than happy and began to mutter - despite the local shhing from the surrounding crowds...

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT! THIS IS DREADFUL... THERE! THERE ON THE STAGE..." he fumed and then quietened down a tad before continuing, "That one's a straight bear - they got him from an agency or something... I recognise him - that's Deano Sykes - he's definitely married..."

"That means nothing..." grinned Redbeard...

But before I could ask him to elaborate BP was off again, "They're just so annoying cos you JUST CAN'T TOUCH THEM!!!!" he sobbed and I must admit - having seen Deano up there - the thought that he was strictly one for the ladies certainly caused me a fair bit of sadness too... "Deano just plays up to it... He only got the job cos the organiser is still hoping to cop a feel... It's just so unfair..."

It was right about then that we were all shhh-ed again. BP Cub took another sip of his wine and settled back down again, "The trouble is..." he continued, "There's the one's like Deano who are too self aware and then there are the Straight bears who you just pity cos they don't even know they're bears! They're just wasted... They don't understand that they could be adored - even from afar... They could be ICONS!!!"

"Maybe you shouldn't shout again babe..." I interjected - but he was off on one again, he had a story...

"Do you know that bloke from that US sitcom Home Improvement? Al Karn. He's just the archetypal bear and he is GORGEOUS! He's straight and he never knew what a bear was - but now he's an honorary president of a bear club! Isn't that great?"

Jimmy Bear seemed to agree - it was great - but the whole subject didn't seem to bother him as much as it did BP Cub - who seemed about to burst into tears should Deano Sykes name come up again...

"Face it... Straight Bears are always the sexiest..." began Jimmy matter of factly, "...As like all the straight men that gay men fancy, it's the unattainability that drives us wild. It's almost like they're not even aware of their beariness as well, which is a real turn-on..." This we all seemed to agree on. "...And they also seem pretty gay-friendly for the most part..." he added brightly, "As you say - all the clever ones like Deano know full well that some guys are attracted to them and being comfy enough in their sexuality it doesn't bother them one bit... Which of course makes it all the more sexy!"

So who did Jimmy define as typical Straight Bears in the public eye?

"Easy... James Gandolfini, Ray Winstone, John Thomson, Chris Penn... all straight, all gorgeous and sexy as hell!"

Again - hard to find fault in those examples...

Soon after this - with all the Bears crowned the contest came to an end and we all went our separate ways... That said, I'm glad to say that I did manage to catch up with Redbeard after... I wanted to know his view on the whole Straight Bear thing - cos I got the feeling that he had something smug and down right interesting to say on the subject...

He started by being pretty cryptic about the whole thing - as we padded our way home down the Kings Road, "Well - I don't neccesarily think you actually have to be gay to be a bear anyway..." he mused, "I mean - don't you think that maybe a straight bear might become a gay one through the application of alcohol!" I waited... "I have evidence that suggests yes!" he grinned.

I had seen this one coming a mile off, "Do tell all..."

He responded, trying not to sound too pleading, "Well..." Red began, "I play rugby for a local team-and our last prop was a totally beary stud-unfortunately a bit of a braying public school type, but you cant have it all... Anyhoo I fancied the arse off him and one drunken evening he bet me I wouldn't fuck him, knowing full well I was gay I hasten to add... Of course I happily accepted and - naturally - won the bet!"

"You're dreadful..." I told him, "But fair play to you..."

Redbeard just grinned - there was more, "He's a married man too... Though years of public school had probably loosened him up a bit... Bless! I have no morals clearly!" he paused, "You guessed who it was yet?"

OH MY GOD... "NOT..."

"...DARLING DEANO SYKES... YEAH - TOO RIGHT... JUST DON'T LET ON TO BRITPOP WILL YA! HE'D NEVER RECOVER..." and with that he waved - hailed a passing taxi and bid me farewell - like a furry cyclone into the night...

Poor BP Cub... Jammy old Redbeard...

Some guys - like Chad in our last post - get all the luck...

WHY ARE STRAIGHT BEARS SO ATTRACTIVE TO US??

Britpop Cub's answer would be - because they look like Deano... Which is pretty much the metre of it... Us guys just appreciate beary men - and the fact that they're straight won't reallyl deter us... Mostly it's just harmless fancying and no different than school girls fancying The Beatles or any modern pop or rockstar today. They know deep down that they can't always have the things they lust over - but they're certainly not going to let this stop them from trying anyway... They're going to make a play - and like Redbeard - sometimes - although (comparitively) rarely - they might just succeed, too! ;-)

Oh dear me... I do fear for when BP finds out... But it was too good a story not to tell... Still - we'll never hear the end of it and there's nothing worse that a sad furball crying uncontrollably for weeks... Still... I've made a phone call - tested the waters and I think he's up for it... Looks like we must just have to send Deano over to console BP... It would seem only fair! ;-) Hehe.

See you all again soon!

NEXT TIME WE WILL BE DISCUSSING WHETHER TWINKY FURBALLS CAN BE BEARS TOO? TUNE IN AGAIN FRIDAY FOR MORE DETAILS...
- posted by Paul Chandler @ 4:21 AM

 
DO SLEAZY BEARS ATTRACT???

Today we're talking sleaze... Not exclusively a bear thing by any means - but that's the slant we'll be taking of course...

So - sleaze then... Oh and by the way – I may be a bit of a naïve one, but we're not going to be taking a holier than thou tone - anything but...

We're just curious...

About how sleaze just seems to happen to people... I mean I could probably shake hands with sleaze - invite it in for supper - cuddle up and watch a film with it - and yet still not realise what it was... I'm not aware of anything happening to me even vaguely as exciting as what has happened to my friend Chad... But I've been teasing him - I've been saying to Chad - you must do something to attract it... (He maintains not...) "You MUST be!" I tell him, slightly huffily... But no - it just seems to happen...

But does it?

Really?

I’m not sure…

Which is why i'm posing the question... Is he right or DO ONLY SLEAZY BEARS ATTRACT SLEAZY SITUATIONS?

Except that Chad isn't strictly a bear or a cub.. Infact he would be most dismayed to be described as one - cos he is most definitely a separate sub-section. Sure, he a sub-section that still inhabits the world of XXL and Chunkies - but he is most definitely a chub not a cub... It's only the difference of an "H" but that matters, to him and many others... Actually - saying that Chad has lost SO much weight since I first met him at school that he is probably actually now a chubby chaser... I will settle this matter with him next time - cos Chad is the source of many a story...

Now Chad is a daily commuter who lives at the end of the Victoria Line... I won’t let on which end incase you all go trolling up there and cause congestion and nick any of Chad’s potential squeezes… (He’d not thank me for that!) I mean this might happen on all the various Underground lines – I expect it does... You may have first hand experience that it does – you may be the person making those first moves? Hey – if you are write and let us know – wanna meet up?? (AHEM!) It's just that I only have Chad’s side of things… I travel mostly on the Northern Line and nothing like that has ever happened to me – but as I say – I’m a dumb old bear cub at times – perhaps I’m just not noticing it…

So Chad… He commutes to work - once in the morning - once in the evening… The particular people he "BUMPS" into are usually only there in the morning when the train is most crowded... There seems be little if no similarity between each case other than that they are probably at least vaguely chubby; sometimes commuter types - sometimes students - rarely has he seen them more than once, they are not familiar faces from the scene and moreover there is no prior arrangement of meeting. (Not the first time anyway! lol!)

So what does he get up to?

Well - the first time it happened Chad was crushed up in the crowds amongst a whole gaggle of commuters when he felt a solitary curious hand rubbing against his trouser fly. The sort of tickling that causes one to - err - become joyous down below. So... There it was ... A solitary hand that he took no effort to dissuade and which eventually found its way to its target - whilst Chad stood meekly - coat and briefcase covering himself from any unwarranted exposure. Just standing there - staring into the eyes of the attractive young man who had taken to lending him a hand, most kindly, one dull and otherwise ordinary commuter morning...

Did he reciprocate? I dunno - I can't remember... It's happened a fair few times now as I've said but I'm not going to delve any further into the ins and outs of the whole thing! (As it were...) Simply to say - Chad claims, and I think I actually DO believe him - that when all this happened to him - he wasn't out there looking for it - it found him - and now he - well - he kinda likes it...

As it happens, I met up with a couple of my good friends for coffee the other morning. These two know the sort of stuff that bear cubs get up to, pretty well. Redbeard is coupled but has seen his fair share of furry action - whilst Britpop Cub is just a complete blonde fuzzball of fancy-free fun - and also seems to be doing his best to totally replicate my cd collection, bless him... (He claims it to be the other way around - of course he does!)

So anyway... We were talking about Chad and despite the fact that bears don't shock too easily they were still pretty intrigued by the whole subject... Didn't he get caught? Didn't he get the man's number? What was it about Henry? Wasn't he late for work?

Well, he certainly never got caught to my knowledge... He did once get a number... But, what it was about him I can't say! What I can confirm though is that - yes - he was a bit late for work because he decided to stay on an extra few stops just to prolong the moment...

We moved from the Chad-specific topic to a more general sleaze related open forum...

Once again... DO ONLY SLEAZY BEARS ATTRACT SLEAZY SITUATIONS?

Redbeard didn't seem to think so - and allied it more to a craving - like for chocolate cake or pies, "Like most things..." he said, "For me - it varies depending on my mood!"

So he knew how Chad felt then - first hand - as it were... Well - he certainly seemed to - but maybe not on an Underground train... We talked some more - but I'll save that for another day... Even so, I began to wonder if I, even in my quite closetted and unknowing way had maybe myself been a little sleazy at some point - but just not realised it...

"What about the time you ran around your parents back garden wearing only whipped cream..."

"Does that count as sleazy?"

Britpop Cub laughed, "Well Shy dear - it's mostly just quaint and amusing but yes - perhaps just a little bit sleazy - especially as the vicar joined in too..."

He had a point there...

Maybe there were other things...

ACTUALLY - THERE WERE OTHER THINGS!!!!

I'M SAVING THEM! :-)

But what of Britpop Cub - he'd not spoken up yet... What did he think? His view was slightly different perhaps... Does Sleaze attract???

"Of course, it's the law of nature. Like attracts like, generally..."

But then - since he'd heard us talk he'd become a tad uncertain - maybe it wasn't as simple as that...

"I must admit I'm not as sure as I was... Maybe sleazy bears/cubs deliberately seek out sleazy bear/cubs rather than just attracting them...."

So are the sleazy bears looking to corrupt the innocent ones - hence turning them into sleazy types themselves??

"Sleaze looks for sleaze whatever your shape and size..." laughed Britpop, "Hoorah for sleaze - it's lovely - like buns are! Just don't eat too many..."

So maybe there is an inner sleaze in all of us... I'm rather glad is all I can say...

Before I wrote this I spoke to Chad himself! Can he remember how he felt when it all first happened? “I was completely shocked but also very wrapped up in pleasure and happiness!”

Sounds good to me… :-)

So then... Was Chad naturally sleazy? Did he become sleazy after his first visitation or is he just an everyday nice somebody who found himself in this crazy situation and ran with it...

Ah - whatever... It's all a matter of perspective I suppose and really - it's not a problem - though it's been fun trying to root out the whole subject...

So what about Chad... He's getting pretty good now... He knows how to play it - how to read the signs... He's even been for coffee with a couple of these fellas... It all makes me grin just so terribly much when I get the occasional email from him on a weekday morning - maybe once every few months... "It happened again today... The train thing..."

He's truly shocked and surprised - yet he bloody enjoys it and who can blame him for tapping into the thrill of it all...

I really must speak to him again and get him to pass on any of his tips for success - but bagsy I try them out first...

Ahem... Hark at me - and I'm supposed to be such an innocent bear cub... Well I am!!! Well I was - and I'm a bit tired of being the country bear cub... I want to get a Piece Of The Action... (or any other Bucks Fizz song going!)

Overall then - we're not condemning sleaze or sleazy bearcubs or chubs - whoever - not at all...

Maybe those of us who aren't getting that sort of thing are a little bit jealous of them... Those cubs who have been involved all seem quite surprised to be in such a position... Sleaze sort of crept up them when they weren't necessarily on the look out and actually they feel quite amazed - secretly flattered that we were approached... When it came to it they were brave enough to say "Hell... Why not..."

As Britpop Cub suggested though, me thinks that Sleaze might be addictive - so perhaps it's best to be selective but seize the opportunity when it comes if it feels right!?!

I'm still waiting...

Somebody? :-)

TOMORROW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT "STRAIGHT" BEARS... WHY DO THEY TEMPT US SO???
- posted by Paul Chandler @ 2:43 AM

 
Well now...

It's quite an eye opener is this big city... It was never like this back home in the village in deepest dark Wiltshire... Back there the only bears we saw were... oh - well there weren't any... not the four legged kind anyway - though there was plenty of burly farm labourers who were willing to please when they weren't busy heave-hoing bails of corn with their bare hands, stripped to the waist and sweating like squaddies...

Actually I lied about that bit...

All the farmers in our village were pretty darn unalluring - even if you like your men mature... There's mature and then there's mouldy and unappetising...

I'm waffling...

I've been here a while now - I thought I'd share some things - about people I've met and stories they've told me...

You've probably heard it all before - but I'm going to tell these things anyway... Just to get them out of my system!

Tomorrow then...
- posted by Paul Chandler @ 8:17 AM